4 God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4
My brother is sick with cancer and three weeks ago was told that he has two weeks left. He is living in overtime. Since his latest deterioration, I have felt the pain and sorrow of loss more keenly than at any time that I can remember. I have needed God more than ever and so have changed my prayer routines. I now spend time in prayer at breakfast, after lunch and before bed. Just 15 minutes each time but it has been a lifeline for me. I have never felt the presence of God so tangibly with me throughout the day. I have never needed to more. His closeness has been such a joy that I have at times wondered if the pain of sorrow is worth it just for the joy of the presence of God alongside me.
Yesterday, I was at a leadership roundtable in Coventry and I sat with an old friend of mine called Guy. Two years ago his wife went to clean their son’s flat (who has complex autistic diagnosis and mental health challenges) and Guy popped to a coffee shop to get some work done. He returned to collect his wife and no one answered. He tried the door, the window, the phone. Nothing. It was as he was banging the door that he received a text from his son. ‘I have killed her. Call the police.’ This was when the nightmare began.
To hear him tell the story and the challenges of the last two years was heartbreaking but it was one comment that really struck me. He said, “People ask, where was God in all of this. I don’t. I have no idea how you get through these moments without God. He was the only reason I survived.”
Mourning is not just about people who die. We can mourn dreams unfulfilled, expectations lost and hopes waylaid. Sometimes God asks us to let go of things and that feels like a loss. There is disappointment and pain in every day. CS Lewis famously said, ‘God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains.’ There is a blessing in our pain because God draws close to us in our suffering. You are not alone.
