27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’[j] 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye[k]—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand—even your stronger hand[l]—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Matthew 5:27-30
The second example that Jesus gives is adultery. The external law says that you should not commit an act of adultery but Jesus’ deeper internal law says that you should not lust after others who are not your spouse. No affair happens in a vacuum. There is no such thing as an accidental affair. Before anyone sleeps with someone else, they have had a thousand affairs in their heart. Our lives flow from the overflow of our hearts.
So, we must be careful with what happens in our hearts and what we allow our imaginations to fixate upon. In this context Jesus speaks about gouging out eyes and cutting off hands. Of course, he is not being literal. He is purposefully being extreme to show us the severity and risk of our actions. What he is saying is that there are good things in our lives that can lead us to lust and should therefore be removed.
An obvious example of this would be pornography. Never has pornography been so accessible. The average age that people are first exposed is now 13. The nature of pornography has become increasingly extreme as well, as people look for something that will excite them. John Mayer famously said in an interview a few years ago that he finds it hard to have a relationship with a real woman because pornography has so conditioned him. His internal world has been wrecked with lust that the way that he sees relationships has been warped. Jesus’ teaching could be that it is better to throw away your phone, even your good phone, than to be conditioned to objectifying women (or men) and reconditioning your intimate desire around someone who isn’t your spouse.
Better to lose a phone than to warp your appetites. Better to lose a job than lose a marriage. Better to create some boundaries that upset people than for your liberty to scar your family. The stakes are high and we guard things that are valuable or vulnerable.
All lust damages us. This is the open secret of our culture. It breaks family, undermines trust and shapes our hearts. It also creates distance between us and God. Our souls can not compartmentalise sin. We can not quickly switch our hearts from porn to prayer. We find ourselves hiding from God, pulling away, and feeling distant. It also spirals. It does not get satiated and then stop. It always demands more of you.
The good news is that there is freedom. The way of Jesus is not condemnation but love. He wants to restore us from the inside out. He wants to repair our relationships and restore our humanity. There is hope and there is healing.
If you are struggling with lust and need someone to talk to then please reach out and we would love to offer support to you.
